If abuse was a person or had a certain look, I was not it and looked nothing like it! So, out of all the things that I have had to endure, abuse was NEVER supposed to be one of them! However, after a few physical altercations, years of infidelity, and other forms of disrespect, here I was in a relationship that I was everything except healthy, but I didn’t have the courage to label it. For someone that appeared to be as strong and confident as I did, how could I?
I know they say that we have to acknowledge that there is a problem for change to take place and I totally agree. However, you have to know the nature of your beast. I was not in denial, but I knew that open acknowledgment would only trigger confrontation and empower him. The very things that made me attractive to him, my strength and confidence, were also looked at as a threat and were constantly used against me. Emotionally, I was in a daily fight not to allow him to mentally beat me into submission. What helped me overcome was the reminder to myself that my daughter was watching and that this experience would help shape how she functioned in a relationship. I did not want her to think it was ok. My fear of losing my self-respect was also part of it. But my greatest triumph came through prayer and praise. It was during both that God constantly reminded me who I was, that He was with me and that what I was going through was all a part of a much bigger plan. This experience was one of the many that gave life to my nonprofit organization that supports women through life transitions. I did not realize it then, but God was empowering me to empower others. I Am Someone He Empowered.
IamShe Nikita
